Your response

WHAT is the RESPONSE Principle?

It means:

10 percent of life is made up of what happens to you; 90 percent of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10 percent of what happens to us.

For instance, we cannot stop the car from breaking down, the plane from arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off. We have no control over this 10 percent.

The  other 90 percent is different. We can control the 90 percent.

 

 How?

By our reaction.

Let's use an example.

 

Scenario:

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

 

Negative Flow:

 

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.  She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.  Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone.

After a 15-minute delay and paying $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school.

Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.

 Your day has started terribly.

As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

 

Why?

Because of your reaction that morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A)      Did the coffee cause it?

B)       Did your daughter cause it?

C)       Did the policeman cause it?

D)    Did you cause it?

The correct answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have happened.

 

POSITIVE FLOW:

Coffee splashes over you.

Your daughter is about to cry.

You gently say, "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After pulling out a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.

 

Notice the difference in both scenarios?

 

Both end differently.

 

Why?

 

Because of how you chose to react.